I Will Find Happiness :: Happiness Essays

So I am a girl. What do you expect? What do you want to find here? Long hair Ive always been told neer to cut my hair, boys will never go for short hair, colt legs, flat stomach, guileful accessories. Do you want me to drive you up the wall with all my lovable quirks? Do you want ribbons and dresses? Lipstick and rouge? I find myself slithering between different states of mind. What should I be? Who should I be? I read books ab fall out subservience comparable Memoirs of a Geisha. I sop up television shows late at night when I cant sleep, the scarcely conviction I watch TV. And there are women on these sitcoms just blessed. Non-stop smiling in their immaculate aprons and Sunday dresses. And I excellentk of my aunt in Arizona who lives under my by-marriage-Italian uncles will. How they are so money except shes only allowed to spend what he approves of, and he accuses her of pigishness if she eats some of the candy his parole stuffs himself with. How he never mentions his 25 0-pound plus free weight, while her bones poke out through her shirts. I see my best friend from junior spirited being dragged into her fathers room while Im standing right there to come up hit with The belt. Huge welts formed for her borrowing a v-neck shirt from a girl at school and blue eye shadow. The shirt and patch up made her a whore. I remember him yelling through the thin trailer walls while I was standing right on the former(a) side. And there are other things. They all swim in my head, like a tank with too many tropical fish that necessarily cleaning. And I start thinking I will not get along to be easy. At the same time I will not come off as too cold or rigid. My shirts must be low-cut, but not low enough to leave vigor to the imagination. It is better that he has something to look forward too. I will establish my body hourglass like. I will be careful about my weight and skin and clothes and make up. I will stay thin, but retain hips and breasts. I will set h igh standards for myself and the other women or so me. I realize we are all in competition for the about handsome and financially sound male, despite the fact that we are the shekels in relationships.